The Lawyer's Daughter

She's FIVE, people!

Tonight as I tried to escape the kid room without being detected by lightly slumbering children, the following conversation occurred ....

Zina: MOMMY!!! DON'T GO!!!! YOU HAVE TO SNUGGLE ME FOR 3 WHOLE SONGS!! (We have played the same bed-time music CD just about every night for the last seven years.)

Me: I already said prayers, read stories, told times, rubbed back, found bunny, covered toes AND snuggled for 3 songs. Now I have to go down stairs and do the dishes. (Lord forbid I tell her that really I am heading off for two hours of mindless design blog surfing.)

Z: No, the back rub was the one you forgot last night and the prayers don't count as a bed time treat because Heavenly Father makes you say them too. So that is ... (counting on fingers) only 5 bed time things and not 7. Besides, we were saying prayers during most the first song. So really, you only snuggled me for two and a half songs -- OR LESS!

What if you snuggle me for half of one more song -- starting after we stop talking about it -- and pick two more bed time treat things because two of your ideas don't really count as treats for kids. You can do two more times (our word for stories) or a foot-rub on two of my feet. Which one do you pick?

Me: Zina, I am the mom and you are the kid and the kid part of the day is over and now I have to go do mom things ... like dishes. You know, boring work stuff. Then I promise I will come check on you before I go to bed.

Z: How about you just wash the "poky" knives and the butter knives and then you come back up?

Me: Honey, I have to do ALL of the dishes.

Z: Well, how about you can wash just the "poky" knives, the butter knives and three of the bowls -- then straight back upstairs.

Me: (Hoping for an easy out) OK, I will wash "poky" knives, butter knives and all of the bowls and then come check on you.

Z: Good. I will stay in bed while you are washing (counting on fingers for my benefit) "poky" knives, butter knives and all of the bowls, as long as you PROMISE not to wash any spoons, forks or plates. Then come straight back upstairs.

Me: Fine. Now go to SLEEP!

At which point -- I kid you not -- the child gets out of bed and turns on the light. When I ask her in my most exhausted mom voice what she thinks she's doing, her response was proof of her genetics. This kid comes from a long line of lawyers.

Z: I'm getting a piece of paper and pen so I can write down that you have promised to wash only the "poky" knives, butter knives and all bowls -- leaving alone any spoons, forks and plates until the morning. Then you will write that you will come straight upstairs to snuggle me for half of a song with no talking or prayers. After you write your part you have to write your name at the bottom and my name at the top. You can't just write M-O-M either. Lots of people are M-O-Ms. Just write A-N-D-I.

Me: ZINA, get in bed and go to sleep ... now!!!

Z: Ok, you can write the spoons in too and just do the M-O-M word if you like, deal??

ZINA, GO TO SLEEP, p l e a s e ....

In the end, she went to sleep and I didn't do any dishes. (Like contract law really works now days.)