Please ...

Let me start by saying, I am not a Republican ... but if were I would like to find someone who can give me a statistical analysis of two things.

1. What percentage of the American population over the past 200 years has been part of a conspiracy to turn the federal government over to the rule of the first presidency of the Mormon church?

and ...

2. What percentage of the American population over the past 200 years has DIED by time there 76th birthday rolls around?

It's just a question.

No wonder Rudy "Babyface" Gulliani is so suddenly cozy with McCain. He's from NY. They have ways of taking care of these kinds of elections. I saw Manchurian Candidate.

Two word Wednesday

Thanks, Ann!

"All of nature mourned ..."

Did anyone else notice the weather today? In Utah it was so windy and stormy that the schools wouldn't let students drive home. The roads closed and the city practically stopped. Total white out blizzard with freezing rain. Are you thinking what I am thinking.

Exhibit A: Summer 1994. Mega micro-burst blows down 70 foot trees all over Utah -- exactly one day after Ezra T. Benson passed on to the other side.

Exhibit B: Winter 2008. Huge sudden cold front blows 50 mph winds and closes schools and roads just hours after the passing of Gordon B. Hinckley

Exhibit C: (This is the kicker) Summer 1846. This is from the journal of my great-great grandmother, Rhoda Chase Stoddard Hineman. "Then came the martyrdom of our prophet, Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum. I saw their bodies lie in state. Oh it was terrible! The winds blew, the dogs howled and the cows groaned. All of natured mourned the loss of our prophet."

That is how she explained it. Maybe Rhoda can read my blog like I read her history. To her I say, after today I now know what you were talking about. All of nature mourned the loss of our prophet.

Praise to the Man

Oh, what a grand prophet of the Lord. I love this smile on Sister Hinckley's face. How happy for them both.

I just hope my kids will remember the sound of his voice.

Calcutta

Calcutta, a Musical Memory -- who knew? In case you are wondering, the year was 1961. And now for the real Calcutta. For the full effect, play both at the same time. Trust me. (Best results: start the lower one about a minute into the top one.)

And this one is because ... well, it's because it's beautiful.

Thanks, Geo, I feel much better now ... and so do my kids who are obsessed with the youtube hand guy, which I also watched all at the same time.

Public Service Announcement

Please read and follow all instructions below!

This is another installment from Marcia in Jersey. This stuff is completely over the top and just the perfect thing for the woman who's husband works too much. All I am saying is ... if Dr. Laura had a cookbook that went along with her advice, this would be in the "A Better Marriage in Less than 30 Minutes" chapter. (And, no, I am not a fan of Dr. Laura. I think she is mean to women. She could definitely use a taste of this stuff to sweeten her up.)

In my book, you would find this recipe in the chapter titled, "Greasy & Sticky -- Love at 300 Degrees". If it doesn't change him over-night, then at least you will know not to share any with him the next time you make it!

Mmmmmm, you can smell this caramel corn all the way to Calcutta! (Did you know that India is 12 and A HALF hours ahead of MST? What is up with that extra half hour? Is this their little way of sticking it to the western imperialists? Does the Geneva Convention even allow them to do that? Sorry ... now back to the popcorn.)



“Don’t Say I Never Did Nothin’ for Ya’.” My mom’s favorite line, and well suited here. I’m giving you all of my trade secrets, people. Ok, I’m not going to say that Rice Crispies and orange extract are going to change your life, but…

Caramel Corn
I never know how much popcorn I’ve really popped, so I always double the caramel portion of this recipe…can’t be having any naked participants, you know.

8 C popped popcorn
1 C Rice Crispies
¾ C packed brown sugar
1/3 C butter
3 T light corn syrup
¼ tsp baking soda
½ tsp vanilla
¼ tsp butter flavoring (optional, but tasty)
1-2 drops orange extract (start small, and go easy. You just want a faint
“what is that” of orange.)
½ tsp kosher salt, or (if you’re feeling fancy) coarse sea salt

Remove any unpopped kernels from popped corn. Place popcorn and Rice Crispies in a large, greased roasting pan; or I just use my largest stainless steel bowl. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Caramel: In a saucepan, combine brown sugar, butter, and corn syrup. Cook and stir over medium heat to boiling. Cook and stir until mixture reaches 255 degrees, hardball stage, on candy thermometer. Remove saucepan from heat. Stir in baking soda, vanilla, butter flavoring, and orange extract.

Pour caramel over popcorn and crispies. Stir gently to coat. Bake at 300 degrees for 15 minutes; sprinkle with salt, stir. Bake five minutes more. Transfer popcorn mixture to large piece of foil or clean countertop; cool completely. Break into clusters. Store tightly covered. Makes about 9 cups.

Nearly Wednesday Almost Wordless Tuesday Night

ps. not my kid.

Candlelight and Cousins

When is the last time you made a nice meal, lit some candles and had a lovely dinner with your girl cousins on your dad's side of the family. Speaking for myself, it been far too long. Luckily, I had Marcia's great Sambal recipe and Shauna as the event coordinator, what better combo is there for a get-together? Lisa was in town from Washington state, which made it easy to clear the calendar of the mundane. She has a kid on a mission in Jamaica, one at school at BYU-I and two that lovingly keep her company at home in Washington.

Shauna showed even though she endured facial reconstruction surgery earlier in the week. You can hardly tell in this shot that she just had a face-lift. (Well, she does live in Alpine.) Actually, it was just a few moles removed.

Emily was also there. I am so embarrassed by how little we get together even though we live in the same city. Especially because I like her so much. Our excuse is a good one -- the Child Birth Vortex of Alienation. It is a syndrome where each of your pregnancies takes approximately one universe away from anyone you know and love. There is hope. Studies have shown that if you take the sum of your children and add it to your age, the result is the number of years it will take you to reclaim your former life. See you when I'm 62.

Mostly we swapped stories about Grandma Favorite. We all had a story about her saying that all her young life men had told her what to do. After her father and husband had passed on to the other side, she wasn't letting any men tell her how to live her life. Other favorite memories included advise to pretend we were walking with a penny stuck between our buns and how her stomach would give her "fits" from ulcers. I hadn't realized that she had a good portion of her stomach remove (and all her teeth) in an effort to cure the ulcers. She also would comment while in a temple session that she was missing her favorite TV shows. Now I know were I get my deep spirituality.

We had a great time and we wish more sister-cousins would have made it. Friends may be forever, but family is decidedly more fun.

Sambal, anyone?

I have enlisted my sister, Marcia, to be a new regular contributor as the food editor. Here is her first installment. Trust me, this is just what you need for your next Bunko night when all your girlfriends are over and you need something that looks fancy but is doable even with small children hanging all over you.

From Marcia…
Before I just give over my recipe for Shrimp Sambal, you should probably know…
1. I throw away toys smaller than my palm while my kids are at school. [cue evil laughter]
2. Even though it’s glued to my ear, I have an aversion to the phone…except for when I‘m talking to my sisters because I can say, “Ok, bye” at any point in the conversation and hang up within 2 seconds and nobody gets hurt
3. I am secretly a Dolly Parton fan, boobies and all
4. I can taste recipes as I read them … so, yeah, I have super powers.
5. I am a bona fide cookbook junky. At three in the morning, my kids are tripping over Jacques, Julia, and Martha to crawl into bed with me. But my latest fetish is for vintage regional cookbooks … like my 1955 Baton Rouge Ladies’ Society cookbook where recipes are signed by “Mrs. Dudley W. Coates, Jr.” and the like, and every recipe calls for either gelatin or bourbon.
6. And despite the Go-Gurt I sent to work with Kenton today, I am food snob. There. I said it.


Shrimp Sambal

2 T chili garlic sauce
3 medium cloves garlic, peeled
1 one-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and coarsely chopped
Red pepper flakes, to taste
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp good curry powder (I actually really like McCormick)
2 ½ T vegetable or canola oil
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
2 medium red onions, thinly sliced
1 14oz can coconut milk, shaken (light coconut milk also works here)
2 T light brown sugar
½ tsp coarse salt
2 lbs shrimp, ready for sautéing
3 T freshly squeezed lime juice
¼ C chopped, fresh cilantro
¼ C chopped peanuts

Make the sambal paste: in the bowl of a food processor (I use a mini food processor, which works really well) fitted with a metal blade, combine chili sauce, garlic, ginger, cumin, turmeric, and curry powder. Process until smooth.
In a large skillet, heat ½ T oil over medium high heat. Add shrimp and cook just until pink on both sides. Don’t over cook. Remove the shrimp to plate. Reduce heat to medium and heat remaining 2 T oil. Add sambal paste and red pepper flakes, and cook, stirring occasionally, until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add onion and red pepper, and cook until softened, about 3 to 5 minutes more. Stir in coconut milk, sugar, salt and shrimp and cook until heated through, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat, transfer to serving dish, sprinkle with lime juice, cilantro and chopped peanuts. Serve immediately.

I like to serve this with brown rice or a big crispy noodle cake I make by sautéing cooked angel hair pasta in a nonstick skillet with oil until really brown and crispy. Flip the cake out onto a plate and slide it back into the skillet to cook on the other side. Cut into wedges and serve with the sambal all drippy and luscious on top.

(Food Porn)

No word Thursday Night?

"snowflakes on lashes ..."

Today is the third day with below freezing temperatures. At noon we were at a balmy 12 degrees. We have to bundle just to go to the mailbox and back. I snapped this just when Zina's lashes were just to heavy with snowflakes to keep open.

Here is a link to my new web album if you really want to see just what kind of day we had.

Today I have decided to do something a little different. Just below this paragraph is a mini-player that will play you a recording of the ragtime tune Andrew wrote while here in Utah for Christmas. (Just click on the arrow.) Listen while you enjoy reading the blip from the Orem City crime report. Officer Edwards (an old friend of the family) has a creative approach to writing the dailies I thought you would enjoy. As for the music ... silly crime and rags belong together. Ahh, Happy Valley! how we miss the breakins, assaults, and police helicopter flyovers from our days on Capitol Hill!

**It must be noted that this tune was written specifically for baby Rosie Jo who has nothing to do with petty crime in Orem. I just needed something to accompany the antics. So click, listen and read.**




08OR02012 - FIGHT INTERRUPTED - Midnight behind Costco on Monday night -- officers arrived and found a group of 15 people standing in a circle out in the freezing cold to watch the fisticuffs between two boys, both of Spanish Fork.

Apparently, disparaging remarks were made about the condition of someone's car, and it was decided that the pair would drive all the way to Orem to settle the matter - God bless them. Perhaps they just wanted to see if the slandered vehicle would make it all the way. They never really got a chance to get started before the officers intervened. Both boys were cited for disorderly conduct and all underaged juveniles up past their bedtime were issued citations for curfew violation and then sent home to bed.

Love on a Cellular Level

The cold days have forced my hand. No outside snowball fights means it is time to pull out the Valentine's Day arts and crafts. Above is a Valentine Xan made for his white blood cells. It's a "super beautiful white blood cell with a HUGE cell wall that is impenetrable by the replicating viruses."

If you look carefully you will see that he gave it extra granules and a orange nucleus "oozing" with DNA. We'll have to send it Nate.

That kid.

Merkley Fam photos

This is old material for many of you who may have seen these shots already posted on other blogs. I took these so soon after Katie's wedding that it has taken me a little while to get around to posting them. But then suddenly I said to myself, "Hey, everyone should know at least one member of Merkley family." So here are 8 Merkleys with four chairs.




Al just scurried right on up this pile of crates. It was pretty impressive.


So, the moral of the story is ... call me soon if you want family pictures done before Valentine's. (Shameless self-promotion.)

Love is a Battlefield

It was the wildest party I've been to for years. After nearly 10 hours of partying, my house was strewn with empty bottles, there were bodies passed out everywhere and splattered blood on the walls. And the basement ... WOW! Who knows what happened there -- what happens in the basement, stays in the basement. All I know is that you truly could not walk across the floor for the rubble.

Really it was just a baby shower for Zendina and her anxiously anticipated new baby boy. (All potential names are top secret.) But with NINETEEN small children stuck inside on a winter day, the scene was a little more like a kindergarten frat party. The empty bottles were really just seven little sippy cups (I am sure Olive took a drink from all seven) and the passed out bodies were only 2 to 12 months old. As for the splatted blood on the walls, that part is real. So is the permanent marker incident and the spilled ink cartage on the new carpet.

Thanks, Ari for introducing my kid to Twisted Sister.

Four Zinas ... even though I know more.

I have counted and I am proud to say that I know SEVEN Zinas. I know more Zinas than Kims or Emilys. Possibly, I know more Zinas than Marcia/Marshas. (That will be a post for another day.) Even better than knowing many Zinas is seeing four out of seven in less than 24 hours.

It all started with running into Zina Lee at a wedding reception. Look how much these two look alike! Maybe Zina and Zina can get together more often. The next day was Grandma Zina's 96th birthday where I got a shot of Zina Rae, Zina Sabine, and Zina Alice. Sadly missing from our celebration were the three others -- Zina, Zina and Zina.

(counting)

I have to say the high light of the afternoon was when Zina showed Grandma Zina how many three is with her fingers. Grandma Zina responded by showing little Zina how many NINETY-SIX is on her fingers. (She can also say the alphabet back-wards.)

Happy Birthday, Grandma Zina!

Editor's note: This post employed the term Zina twenty times. Make that twenty-one.

Meet the Abbotts

Meet the Abbotts. (Actually when Ben and Rachel got married last week I suggested they pick her last name, Gianni, as the new family nomenclature.) After dating on and off over the course of four or five years they finally settled down. Ben is a high school friend of Katie's and is nearly 6 years Rachel's junior. It is nice to see true love prevail despite the odds. Soon they will head for Alaska where Rachel is doing a PhD and Ben will be the kept man of a sugar mama in the frozen north. Just kidding.

One of the BEST parts of going to the weddings of friends of Kate and Liz is seeing all the old faces that would hang out in my living room until the wee hours of the morning. Look, Gabe and Nora in the same picture. I am a little embarrassed by how much I enjoy hanging out with the Orem High crowd. Really, I should just get my own friends.


Kate and Liz wowed the crowd with their take on Old Time and the small children were darling and photogenic.


There was just one little hick-up that is still causing us trouble at home. Xan turned down Zina's request for a spin on the dance floor and took off with this little blond number instead. (When Zina saw these pictures she stood right up, walked over to Xan, slapped him and said that she wasn't going to marry him any more. Love is a tricky thing, darlin'.)



Thanks for a lovely party and here's to a brood of your own. Best to snuggle for warmth in Alaska!

mitt, mormons, and the GOP

Today I take my text from the Book of Kimberly. This is not the first time I have poached a post from her, but I think she says it best. If you are out there, Kimberly, thank you and God bless you, woman.

i know some people prefer i stick to photos and silly stories, but i can't resist today.

i am really upset by the way the GOP is treating mitt and his mormonism. i think it is appalling that in 2008 good, proven leaders can't run for president. in my estimation mitt is the best thing the republicans have right now. he is a proven administrator. he is an effective negotiator. he is able to find the middle ground and build consensus. he is sane (unlike guiliani and mccain). and for the republican base, he believes in your morals. yet for some reason the GOP has decided to throw him under the bus.

it is clear that what was once the conservative coalition is becoming a disorganized frenzy of radical nut jobs. and i was upset when i felt like mitt set aside what he felt was right to what he thought would get him elected. he sudden changes in stance on abortion, gay marriage, etc. really bothered me. and he lost this wondering democratic mormons vote when he became like all the other politicians, just a pandering buffoon. but the truth is he isn't a buffoon and it is freaky that huckabee beat him in iowa.

mormons have been loyal to the republican party for over 60 years. 80% of american mormons vote. we vote as frequently as jews. we are a loyal base. so why is the GOP so confident the mormons will stay? and why don't mormons wake up and smell the postum and realize that they have been second class citizens in that party for years. and why in the world don't the dems start courting the mormon vote? i think in a time like this it is feasible that the mormons will be able to see that the GOP is never going to actually support their cause.

most don't know that mormons were once as loyal to the dems as they are now to the GOP. the the early 20th century momons voted in block for dems. in fact woodrow wilson's assistant sec of treasury was a high ranking mormon.

from what i understand mormons became republican when "cultural revolution" started. mormons wanted traditional values etc. we were second class citizens then to the GOP and i don't understand why mormons don't see that the republican party has not done them much good. in fact, republican operatives have been digging up dirt and mingling fact with fiction about much of what we believe and how we behave.

to me, loyalty should be given to people, systems, parties, organizations, who will stand for and protect your values. even in the articles of faith "we claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." i don't think the GOP stands by this article.

mitt, i am sorry you sold out to a group who was never going to help you in the first place. i think had you stood by your beliefs you might have been able to actually be the president. you were to calculated. it made you look fake. nervous bigoted republicans slammed you on your faith. i wish you would have stood up then for what was right and told them what you believed and then told them to back off. that you were running for president and that in today's america we should be better than this. i know it is scary to speak truth to power, but you have to when you are the president. i think this is the mistake that lost you the race. or maybe it was because you decided to be a republican. in the democratic race, you might have actually come out ahead. especially if you had spoken your truth.

GOP you are a bunch of dirty rascals. and i am so glad that all of your dirty laundry is being aired. not just the larry craig kind of laundry, but this...your divisive, bigoted, dividing strategy. i hope last night was the beginning of significant change!

And, my comment to Kimberly:

Dear Kimberly,
Are you really that surprised by Iowa? Honestly, any battle in the mid-west between Mormons and born-agains is bound to start with lies and end with someone falling backwards out a window with a bullet in the heart.

Andria & Jeff ... & Whitney?

Last week I got a call from fabulous Whitney. She invited me to the wedding of Andria, who is half Indian, and Jeff, a Scottish surgeon who is one of 8 children. His whole family flew in from Scotland to wait outside the temple in 20 degree weather for 5 hours. But that is another story.
(I is always a bit of a shock to the non-LDS family when the bride and groom emerge NOT from the large beautiful doors of the temple - where they were waiting and watching, but from behind them. These doors look more like they lead to the parking valets waiting room. Oh well.)

The family was full of colorful aunts,
the lovely Scottish wee barns,
and even one Paul McCartney impersonating brother.
The wedding party winded their way up the canyon to Log Haven for the dinner and reception. I heard more than one wedding guest say they thought the icicles were manufactured in a Chinese factory in July and flown to Utah especially for occasion. Hmmm.

Of course the best decoration of all was the mere presence of Whitney and her magic touch! Until we meet again, Whit ...

My inner-space child

Meet the new characters in our favorite bed time stories, Eosinophil, Monocyte and the bad guy, Virus. Ever since visiting our good friend Nate in his medical lab, I have been telling micro-tales of cell vs. cell. How many melodramas can one mom create using the words neutrophil, nucleus, granules (Xan calls them grand-jewels), DNA, replication, cocci, cluster cells, lymphocyte, anti-bodies and irregular nucleus? I will tell you ... legion.

Xanny stuck his head to this microscope for hours and still asked for more. What five year old wouldn't love the story of the evil virus vs. the anti-bodies. Not only is his interest in growing up to be king of his own laboratory, ever since he saw the candida yeast eat the lactose sugar he has given up sweets and candies almost completely. He doesn't want to feed sugar to micro-bad guys in his blood.

My five year old can identify four different types of white blood cells based of the shape of a nucleus and the proliferation of granules. He likes to tell the story of when Marco, as a three year old, had the misfortune of suffering a "sublexation of the radial head." Last night he made me dissect the chicken heart to count it's chambers before tossing it into the boiling pot. All the while he sang "Eating chicken soup, chicken soup with rice." Yeah, I think he will be ready for kindergarten by September.


Of course the most motivating factor to become a microbiologist ... the gloves. It's all about the gloves. Thanks, Nate. Just so you know, Xan is constantly reminding me that we missed checking out the urine samples. We'll be back.

New Year's Solutions

This post is dedicated to two people, Isabella and Kirsten. Belle is my 9 year old niece who has coined the term "New Year's Solutions" instead of resolutions and Kirsten is the kind friend who brought me this box "Fix Butte" tea from Germany. I am sure it means something else in German but I still thought it was a positive way to greet the coming year. My solution to my resolution? Never mind that I followed my piping hot mug of tea with a frozen chunk of left-over cake. Maybe I should ask Kirsten for stronger German tea.


Happy New Year and here's to two-thousand-GREAT! The year of the bling and glass.