For Marco - The Mormon Who Sent Flowers

Obama-bread

I made Obama-Bread. It's half rye, half white.

Like the rest of America -- I find I'm only interested in one half.

I've been growing things in my kitchen -- rye starter, white starter, keiffer starter, piima cream, ginger beer, kimche and two small children. I wanted to see how the different starts worked so I mixed my rye and white breads separately, but baked them together.

Xanny calls my pots of potions "good-teria" as apposed to "bad-teria". It seems my white starter lacks sufficient good-teria bug. (Having said that, I must go on record as saying I think Obama's white starter had plenty of bug.)

I am sure there are other hidden strands of culture not yet identified growing on my kitchen counter. They are just waiting to be "discovered" and tossed into a tasty dish of somethin' sour.

Poet Boy

Xanny's six-year-old six-word-poem:

Wishing and washing,

Ocean blue waves.

(I think I'm in love!)

Aliishyahh Cinderella -- En Memoria

You know how much I love a good obituary. Tonight we are here to remember the short life of Aliishyahh Cinderella -- bunny of Katie and Sam. All interesting obits have a little back story so I have taken the liberty of including exerts from Katie's blog.

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December 15, 2008

Look what Sam brought me! We named her Aliishyahh Cinderella. Sam had a dream that we had a baby girl and I wanted to name her Alicia. So in naming the rabbit, it was only appropriate. Only, I opted for the Utah spelling.

Cinderella is her second name because her favorite spot so far is by our wood stove. We're in the process of building her out-door home, but for now she likes hanging out by the fire.

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To which our ever responsibly thinking friend Carolyn commented ...

um...where is Aliishyahh Cinderella going to go when you start your around the world travels?....you're not going to eat her and tan her hide are you ---not after you've named her....I don't think you want to get her through customs in all of the places you are going! :-)

December 17, 2008 8:15 PM

I asked a few of my friends who live in the Logan area if anyone wanted a fuzzy bunny. Finally, just a few days before Katie and Sam left for their world travels, my friend, Emily, said she thought the bunny would be a great addition to her family. Immediately, I called Katie to tell her the good news -- but I was too late. Sam had just taken her out to the woods behind their house and set her "free". This was on December 27th ... in Logan ... in a blizzard!!

Last week, Katie sent me this note from Peru:

Guess who Sam's mom found frozen to death in our front yard a couple weeks ago. I know! (SOB!) it was Cinderella Alyshaaah. So, since they deemed the ground too frozen to dig a grave and figured we wouldn't want them to just toss her somewhere (like a garbage can, or even a forested canyon...which is totally what I would have wanted them to do) they wrapped her in a garbage bag and stuck her on top of the buffalo in the case freezer. So I guess we have 60 lbs of Buffalo and 2 lbs of Bunny Wabbit waiting for us at home.

Anyone hungry for a little Hassenpfeffer?

Words to "I Want to Love You Tender"

I have had several requests to include the lyrics to my Valentine's tune. Thanks, Carolyn for tracking them down.

I love you, I wanna love you tender.
You could be my only sweet surrender.
I would never bring you any kind of sorrow.

You love me, you wanna love me tender.
How can I be sure you're not pretender?
You want me today,
But what about tomorrow?

Oh, you're absolutely fine,
Your lips are taste of wine.
I'd like to think you're mine.
And if I could touch your hand,
This rock would turn to sand,
So this is where we stand.

You love me, you wanna love me tender.
How can I be sure you're not pretender?
You want me today,
But what about tomorrow?

I love you, I wanna love you tender.
I just want to be your loving fender.
I would like to take you;
I know I can't deceive you.

I love you, I do can be so tender.
I can be your only sweet surrender,
And if you give your heart,
I'll never ever leave you.

Oh, you're absolutely fine,
Your lips are taste of wine.
I'd like to think you're mine.
And if I could touch your hand,
This rock would turn to sand,
So this is where we stand.

If we all say 'Wanna love you tender,"
No-one has to be a great pretender.
And this world would be
A better place to live in.

For sale; baby shoes; never worn.

Lately I have been OBSESSED with something called Six-Word Stories. Hemingway said his greatest work was just 6 words long:

- For sale; baby shoes; never worn.

Valentine's Day finds me counting the words of my random thoughts about motherhood and marriage. For example:

- Saw your blog; sending birth control.

- It's a boy! (No refunds, returns)

- Fist, stick, rock, gun ... kitchen remodel.

- Husband's in India, flowers from Ecuador!

- "He's expecting several babies in May."

The last one is a direct quote during a visit to the TLC polyg church in Manti. Not being a writer, I'm not the best at distilling the essence of life and love. (I can only imagine what Betty Jo or Jeff Davis can do with six little words.) None the less, I love them. (Hey, that's a good one.)

-None the less, I love them.

Or these from my insane Brazilian companion, Hermana Silva, 18 years ago. She knew exactly 3 sentences in English. It was these same three sentences she would use during discussions, at the grocery store or anywhere she just wanted to make me crazy. Amazingly, they were all just six words long: (Must be said with heavy Portuguese accent.)

- Wanted Tom Cruise -- got Tom Crazy.

- I can't believe it's not butter!

-Victory for Jesus Christ, our Lord.

It is in this spirit of the six word love story that I bring you my Valentine's offering. If you are down or lonely or just don't know what to say to the person next to you, just play this video and you will feel better. Because, this Valentine's day ...

- I want to love you tender!

The mid-song dance break and Danny's dulcet tones will bring you six word inspirations. Feel free to leave a six word comment.

For more stories, visit www.sixwordstories.net/category/subject/dark-humor/

Husband in India, Flowers from Ecuador

When it's the dead of winter and you're about to go a little loopy from the ankle-biters because your husband has been in India for 7, going on 8 days, NOTHING is better than spying a large package on your front door. He he he.

"Look, Zina!! Daddio sent us something for Valentine's Day."
"Mom, I want it to be a baby sister from India."
"Probably not. Maybe next time, honey."

Luckily, it wasn't a baby sister from India. It was two dozen roses from Ecuador. Men, just so you know, you can't go wrong with anything called Fifty Flowers (dot) com.

What do you get when you mix Marco of India, Robbie of Scotland and Alfredo of Ecuador? You get a card that is a spot of springtime for a lonely housewife of Orem. Thanks, guys. (I'm still trying to figure out what that first letter "D" is all about. I quite enjoy the South American illumination.)

THEN, just when I thought it couldn't get any better ... this big, beefy FedEx guy pulls up in front of my house, walks right up to me, looks me straight in the eyes and says in a smooth, low voice, "Ma'am, sign here, please." Flowers and a package? It is taking all my will power to wait until the little people are asleep to dive into my new book: Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. Like I am just going to spend 5 minutes a day on the book alone, much less the bread.

(Didn't get a picture of the attractive FedEx guy. I thought it might be inappropriate to post a shot of his sexy calves when I'm blogging about my romantic husband -- even if Marco is on the other side of world -- and even if the guy looked great in those FedEx Bermuda shorts. But I digress.)

Here's the total package, but the real "total package" is working hard in India. Thanks, lover. Just so you know, for Valentine's Day this year -- I got you a couple of pairs of sexy FedEx Bermuda shorts.

(This is when she still thought it might be a new baby sister.)

Out went the lights

Last night our power went out for the whole night. We ate dinner by candle light and made Valentines with wax and colored paper.

Here is part of dinner including handmade rustic bread with Texas grapefruit (Jealous, yet? I strive have one of those blogs. You know, the ones that put a pretty light on total chaos and make it look glamorous.)

Paper hearts stuck together with wax. Kids love wax. I love wax. Who doesn't love playing with warm wax? It's a texture thing.

Just a singin' and a cutting. That basically sums up my Little Bird.

And she has the best profile -- baby facial proportions that make my brain's hard wiring respond with major love and affection. It's all chemistry, at the end of the day.

Here is Xanny emerging from the Amaryllis flower. We have all watched this flower ever since Christmas rocket up and bloom the perfect color of Chinese Red.

Xanny by candlelight looking like he has something really important on his mind. At the time he was working out the philosophical problem of Chocolate VS Banana Creamy in his head. It's tough being six.

When my kids are my age, I hope this is how they remember their childhood kitchen -- covered with good food and good light. Jumbled piles of crafts, catsup and botany that feed their bodies and brains with possibilities. I hope Xan grows up to be comfortable kneading his own bread and finds a warm wife who will ignore the dishes to string bead with their kids.

Zina, I know, will be a much more meticulous house keeper than I am. She already organizes her little kitchen daily and sings while she sweeps. Always the lady, she only wears dresses and recently set aside a couple "plain" frocks that she has deemed Peasant-Princess clothes. These are the dresses void of pink tulle and gold threads and worn by all major princesses during their "clean-the-house" phase of life. How long will she remember the fun of being a Peasant-Princess? I have to say that I really enjoy sifting the lentils from the pebbles, even with out the help of magical ants. (Now, where did I put my tiara?)

Get out while the getting is good.

Marco - 313

Andi - 314

Best to quit while I'm ahead ... because I know it won't last long! 

BTW - Guess how many facebook friends Pres. Obama has. He's just 5,132,421 friends (actually he calls them supporters) ahead of me. Who do you think the #2 person on face book is?

"Polly-Mr."

Eventually I want to tell you all about the 50 year old cross-dresser I met at the dollar store today. (S/He was buying ladies g-string underwear and Xanny was quite curious about both the him/her and the Dollar-Tree lingerie.)

(Yeah, the cashier was waving these apricot stringy things up over her head while yelling, "Hey, Patricia, will you run over to aisle 7 and check if "Lady's Polyester Thongs" are one or two for a dollar. See, he's got two pairs hangin' on this one hanger!")

(Needless to say, my children were mesmerized, particularly Xanny! "Hey, mom, what does poly-mister mean?" "She said poly-ESTER, dear, not poly-MISTER.")

("Oh, Esther -- like in the bible?" This is the point where s/he flips his hair over his shoulder, turns and says in a deeeeeeep voice, "Polyester is a kind of fabric, son." Xanny's eyes got huge and he went quiet until we made our way through the check-out and into the parking lot. That's when the questions started.)

But the rest of the story will have to wait until I have time to explain how Polly-Mr. was just one link in much larger chain reaction of a day.

What I really wanted to post was:

Marco - 308
Andi - 305

I wonder if I could add Polly-Mr. as a facebook friend?

Such is Life and Bread

I have had several comments (on and off the blog) regarding beer in bread making, and I thought it worth a post.

I like it for two reasons. First, it taste better to me. I think Utah's super dry climate makes for lousy sourdough fermentation. Maybe in NY (and other humid locals at sea level), there is enough ambient bacteria and humidity ... and beer in glasses after the bread is cooked ... that the recipe works just fine with water.

Second reason I make it with beer? Because last month I bought beer at the liquor store. (I needed just one bottle and grocery stores in Utah don't sell singles. The law requires that you buy six packs. Go figure.) Anyway ... I am just about to pay for my one beer that I am going to use to make bread for my Mormon babies, when the cashier CARDS ME!!! I was STUNNED -- and all kinds of giddy about being CARDED when I am very nearly TWICE the legal age to purchase beer.

There it is, two reasons why beer is better. I know Emily "The Purist" Asplund will take issue with my position. Such is life ... and bread.

PS: Below is a random picture from Christmas morning care of Katie. It's the only shot I have of my nearly finished Kitchen Remodel (with capital letters K and R!) This is for Carolyn and Jen -- both of the DC metro area. I promise a more detailed tour later, ladies, but you get the gist. 

Bread or Alive

I do this every day. Every day I make bread in my magic pot -- a 14-inch, 13 quart, 34 cm cast iron Le Creuset Dutch Oven. It is our Liberty Bell pot since it has a huge crack down one side, which is how we got it for nearly free. But it still works.

I poached the recipe from Brian and Ann Stucki's blog -- though I have doubled -- then tripled -- then quadrupled...... and even quintupled it. This first picture above was a triple, which means 9 cups of flour.


This loaf (above) is a quadruple: 12 cups of flour (notice the oven thermometer - essential!) The loaf below was a fiver: 15 cups of flour! That's 1 hour and 42 minutes in the oven, at 425 degrees, to reach the magic internal temp of 210 degrees. I put my wedding ring on it in the picture to try to show the scale. And there must be some domestic symbolism in the shot as well. After all, Marco tells me that the word "Lady" is from Old English hlǣfdīġe, originally literally ‘loaf-kneader’. (The word "Lord" is from hlafweard, literally "the one who guards the loaves," from hlaf "bread, loaf" + weard "keeper, guardian, ward.")

Here's the recipe:

Almost No-Knead Bread

An enameled cast-iron Dutch oven with a tight-fitting lid yields best results, but the recipe also works in a regular cast-iron Dutch oven or heavy stockpot.

The bread is best eaten the day it is baked but can be wrapped in aluminum foil and stored in a cool, dry place for up to 2 days.
Makes 1 large round loaf (but doubles -- triples-- multiplies well, if you've got the pot.)

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (15 ounces), plus additional for dusting work surface
1/4 teaspoon instant or rapid-rise yeast
1 1/2 teaspoons table salt
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons water (7 ounces), at room temperature
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons mild-flavored lager (that is, beer) (3 ounces)
1 tablespoon white vinegar

1. Whisk flour, yeast, and salt in large bowl. Add water, beer, and vinegar. Using rubber spatula, fold mixture, scraping up dry flour from bottom of bowl until shaggy ball forms. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let sit at room temperature for 8 to 18 hours.

2. Lay 12- by 18-inch sheet of parchment paper inside 10-inch skillet. Transfer dough to lightly floured work surface and knead 10 to 15 times. Shape dough into ball by pulling edges into middle. Transfer dough, seam-side down, to parchment-lined skillet. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until dough has doubled in size and does not readily spring back when poked with finger, about 2 hours.

3. About 30 minutes before baking, adjust oven rack to lowest position, place a 6- to 8 (or 13!!) quart heavy-bottomed Dutch oven (with lid) on rack, and pre-heat the pot in the oven at 500 degrees. Lightly flour top of dough and, using razor blade or sharp knife, make an "X" (or a "Z" if your other child insists) 1/2-inch-deep slit along top of dough. Carefully remove pot from oven and remove lid. Pick up dough by lifting parchment overhang and lower into pot (let any excess parchment hang over pot edge). Cover pot and place in oven. Reduce oven temperature to 425 degrees and bake covered for 30 minutes. Remove lid and continue to bake until loaf is deep brown and instant-read thermometer inserted into center registers 210 degrees, 20 to 30 minutes longer. Carefully remove bread from pot; transfer to wire rack and cool to room temperature, about 2 hours (if you can keep people away from it that long!).

STEP BY STEP: Almost No-Knead Bread
1. MIX: Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients with a spatula.
2. REST: Leave the dough to rest for eight to 18 hours.
3. KNEAD: Knead the dough 10 to 15 times and shape it into a ball.
4. LET RISE: Allow the dough to rise for two hours in a parchment paper-lined skillet.
5. BAKE: Lift the parchment paper and place the dough (and paper) in the preheated Dutch oven and bake covered at 425 for half and hour, then uncover and continue to bake until the thermometer tells you it's 210, and the loaf is deep brown.

HELPFUL HINT:
On the bigger loaves, after uncovering the loaf, if it starts to get too brown you may want to cover it again, while waiting for the internal temp to get to 210.

ANOTHER HELPFUL HINT:
For the beer, use a mild-flavored lager, such as Budweiser, or a non-alcoholic lager like O'Doul's also works if you're embarrassed to be seen by your neighbors with a six-pack of Bud in your shopping cart!

Here's Katie with my very first Loaf Number One (a modest double loaf) -- just before she left for her backpacking adventure. Stories from the road are at www.fancyfiddle.blogspot.com.

ANOTHER HELPFUL HINT:
Make sure you have plenty of butter and honey around. I've never had a loaf last more than a day or two.