5 Buck Pizza

Me: OK, kids, you guys get 5 Buck Pizza and I am going to have wanton soup for lunch.

Xan: Why aren't you eating 5 Buck Pizza, mom?

Me: Because 5 Buck Pizza makes my bum really big and I want to have a little bum.

Xan: Oh -- that's too bad.

Me: It's alright, I really like wanton soup.

Xan: It's not too bad for you, it's too bad for me. I really like big bums!

(I have to say, this little conversation made my day!)

Now For Something Completely Different.

A wedding ring ...

an old kitchen table ...

and a baby in a basket.

What in the world could these three things have in common? I'll tell you. I was talking to my sister, Marcia, in Jersey the other day and she confided in me that she has a secret obsession. When ever she is out driving around, she is always on the look out for abandoned babies in a baskets. What? She says there is no particular reason why she thinks she might find a baby in a basket, no secret past or psychic connection -- she is just always on the lookout.

Well, this made me have to confess MY secret obsession. When ever I am out driving around, I am always on the look out for beautiful abandoned kitchen tables. Don't ask me why. It is just a visceral feeling I have that I might one day find the perfect antique kitchen table by the side of the road on trash day.

But there are THREE Pitcher sisters ... It just so happens that my older sister, Shauna, secretly searches the side of the road for lost wedding rings. Personally, I think of the three, I stand the greatest chance of all of actually finding my hidden treasure. Kitchen tables are way bigger than wedding rings. Wedding rings, however, are worth much more than a kitchen table so that makes Shauna's quest better than mine. Marcia, of course, wins with her abandoned baby thing. Just think of the talk she could write for sacrament meeting if she actually finds one. She always wins. (But I'm not bitter.)

After having this conversation I have found that my subconscious is going for the jackpot. Today I missed a turn because I was searching the alley for -- you got it -- a baby in a basket hidden under an antique kitchen table who's wearing its lost mother's wedding ring.

What do you secretly look for when you are out driving around? (Or is this just a Pitcher sister thing?)

What Becomes a Legend Most?

I know, I know ... Our society is going down the toilet and Miss Miley is just the next teenage queen of scank. Or is she? Above is an image of Elizabeth Taylor in 1948. The s-e-x-k-i-t-t-e-n had just turned 16. Below is our Miss Cyrus. Obviously she is headed down that same sad road as poor Elizabeth Taylor. OK - 15 is not 16.

Here she is at 15 just after National Velvet with the same amount of fabric covering her bodice.

My point (don't hate me!) -- IT'S ANNIE *%$@# LEIBOVITZ, people. What becomes a legend most? My sisters are going to kill me but I don't think the portrait is that scandalous. I think Annie Leibovitz always wins and takes beautiful pictures. Sorry. Miley might be worth a billion dollars but Annie is an artist.

And do you really think Mr. and Mrs. Cyrus sent the photos back to Vanity Fair? I think not. Conveniently, they got to go to the photo shoot and be outraged at a later date when someone whispered in their ear that they should cry SHAME ON YOU, ANNIE. I wish all of life's moral decisions were a revolving door having it both ways.

Maybe all of this "End of the Miley World" will bode well for us in Utah County. Maybe now we will be able to get a ticket to the Stadium of Fire on July 4th.


By the way, this 1949 portrait of Ms. Taylor at age 17 is titled "S-E-X Education". Now, those were the days.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Pear Blossoms

I've been doing a lot of walking lately. Everywhere there are pear blossoms. I have one question. What do they smell like to you? (I already know what my sister, Shauna, would say!)

Katie Henderson's Senior Recital

Look who's finished with school. Katie performed her senior recital this weekend in Logan. She was beautiful, the music sublime and the location perfect for an evening of wonder and awe.

She chose the Episcopal church for her venue which was perfect acoustically, especially for the 17 minute unaccompanied Bach. Why don't Mormons get to gaze at stain glass windows all through church? A church could be true AND beautiful.

Here is the view from the balcony.

Here is Katie in action in a time elapsed shot.

Of course the real show started after the recital. We brought Kat with us from Orem and the two of them jammed while the little ones shook their booties. (Marco was slightly distraught that he forgot his drum and started banging on anything he could find.)

CONGRATULATIONS, TO KATIE AND SAM. (Sam is also graduating.) Now they are finished with school, they are packing their bags and heading to Tennessee for the summer. I talked to Katie yesterday and she told me that in stead of buying a cap-and-gown and attending convocation, the happy couple opted for a matching set of USU sweat suits and Aggie blue ice cream.

Good luck in the deep south of Knoxville. Hopefully, Katie will find loads of Bluegrass and Old-time fiddling to sit in on while she is there.

No news is GOOD news.

I know, I know -- it's been weeks since a post. But I am pleased to report that no news is good news. We have been lounging in sunny Vegas and outside enjoying spring. Well, nearly spring. Would you believe we had SNOW this week. A sudden blizzard blew threw town yesterday. Isn't it nearly MAY?

I have been thinking on my long morning walks that it is time for a party. June is awfully warm here in Utah and my folks have that nice little place in the mountains of Colorado. Who's up for a road trip? I think I will be at the cabin for a couple of weeks in June and I want to know who wants to pop on in while I'm there. Bring the kids -- we have plenty of room. (Erin, I would even let you bring a mother in law. Maybe she'd get eaten bear. Think about it.)

So email me at andipitcher@aol.com if you think you want to go fishing with us. Here's a link to last years summer's Moms-Gone-Wild tour threw Colorado with Whitney.

WHO'S IN?

Family Home Evening Ideas for Children

Family Home Evening for Dummies

I was talking to Kirsten a little while ago and the idea of FHE came up. We talked about how scriptures are a little over a three year old's comprehensions and many of the "Ideas for FHE" books resemble a different church than she and I might attend. So, how do you teach little people gospel ideas with out going nuts because of the "manual"?





This is what we do ...



First, I get a kid to go ring the doorbell profusely. This is the sign that FHE is ready to start. I try to use this when it is time to have family prayer too. It's a good way to get little kids excited just about ANYTHING. Have them ring the door bell - like a real grown up - and they will be totally into it.

Next, we start with the standard song and prayer. The core of FHE is always stories. We have a big box of all the standard church graphics of stories from the scriptures and gospel ideas. You know the art I am talking about. It's not perfect, but usually not offensive. (Sorry, I am a bit of a snob when it comes to "church" art. If Marsha Ellis would paint all of the stories of the scriptures I would buy them all and teach my kids with those!)

Marco lets each kid pick out 2 or 3 (it always ends up being 7 or 8) of their favorite pictures. Warning: It is decidedly more difficult to find the girl pictures, but they are there and Zina is always good at digging until she finds them.

Then we just sit around and tell stories. I know it's not a novel idea, but it works. We as parents get to decide if we mention whether the "good guy" chopped all the arms off of the "hungry guys" -- uh, I mean, "bad guys". In our story to our three year old, they merely had a nice talk about stealing instead of just asking for some sheep. (My pet-peeve of my mission -- to this day -- is the chapter in the Missionary Guide on Charity. The MORE effective example of charity in this book was the story about chopping off arms. What was that all about? All of the teachings of Jesus and they pick the worse story in BOM. The story about starving peasants that were just trying to feed their families. Maybe the king was greedy and just didn't want to share. Did you ever think about that? But I digress ...)

I also like to do a game of "Go Find" using random things around the house as a "Just like the gospel" scavenger hunt. "Go find" something in the house that is just like the star that the wise men followed. This is a really good exercise to build talk writing skills in the future.

Last week one of our stories was about Joseph and Potiphar's wife. He went to jail and used a neat trick of interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh as his ticket out of there.

"Go find something in our house that is just like Joseph's Coat of Many Colors."

Next Xanny "went to jail" and had to come up with a good trick to get him out of there. Did you know he can whistle? It's a talent.
Zina's trick for getting out of jail is the BEST. She can touch her tongue to her nose. It's genetic, she inherited this skill from my mother.

Then we just end with ... well, another 7 stories. Works every time.

In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN.