Words Women Use

OK, I'm back to normal ... mostly. The highlite of the weekend was my Semi-Annual Priesthood Session Party for Women Only. Fine food, friends and gossip is always a welcome spot of sunshine in an otherwise gray spring thus far. Except the part where I was mysteriously deathly ill and had to send some of my party guests to the pharmacy to pick-up a remedy that left me too sleepy to bid farewell to my friends. (Does anyone know anything about gall bladders?) I tip-toed upstairs around midnight and fell asleep before most had gone home. The next day I called Emily to see what time the rest had made it home.

Are you ready for this? THEY LEFT AROUND 5:30 AM. Zendina told me she watched the sun rise on her way home to SLC, her little newborn asleep in the back seat. She's a mother with a 7 week old baby -- she doesn't sleep anyway so why not enjoy the middle of the night with some friends, right?

I think we could say the party was a success even though the hostess passed out early! We missed Cindy but she sent me the following this morning and I think it is the perfect bit to go with any girl party.

WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are

right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more

minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,

and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing

usually end in fine .

4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement

often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an

idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing

with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman

can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard

before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say

you're welcome.

8 . Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning

this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but

is now doing it herself.. This will later result in a man asking 'What's

wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.